Have you ever wondered how stopping complaining might be one of the most powerful attitudes for you to meet life goals and objectives?
What would happen if, as of today, you minimized complaints and began to act unabated regardless of external circumstances?
In today’s article, we will see why complaining is an ineffective strategy that practically only harms you and the people around you.
So if you want to learn how to stop complaining and start doing what needs to be done, keep reading this article to learn:
- Why complaining is an extremely ineffective strategy
- What do you get when you complain?
- How to stop complaining using 3 powerful questions
- What would happen to your life if you stopped complaining?
For starters, let’s look at a video that I recorded about complaint issues.
Why complaining is an extremely ineffective strategy
The lives of us all are made of ups and downs, happy and sad times, celebrations and mourning.
In these low moments, it is normal to feel like complaining. And it’s okay to make complaints on time when something is not going well.
The problem begins to arise when we become chronic complainers. When we become that kind of person who is constantly complaining about the temperature, the government, the food, the job, the other people.
Rationally, complaining is an extremely ineffective strategy. It has no real benefit and still represents a great waste of time.
Think with me. When you complain about something, what consequences do you expect from that complaint?
Do you really believe that complaining will somehow help you achieve your big life goals?
The answer to these questions is a resounding no.
This does not mean, however, that you earn nothing by complaining. If there was no benefit, none of us would be here learning how to stop complaining.
So let’s see what the supposed benefits are.
What do you get when you complain?
When you were a small child, you needed to cry, scream and complain to get attention, food and shelter.
At that stage in life, complaining was a useful tool for getting what you need.
In adulthood, however, complaining, besides not helping us get what we want, often has the opposite effect.
That is, instead of helping to achieve happiness , complaint brings resentment, dissatisfaction and even isolation.
Do you like spending time with complainers all the time?
Just as you don’t like this kind of company, it’s very likely that people around you don’t like it when you complain all the time.
The only thing you get when you complain is a false sense of relief, a false idea that you are doing something to solve a problem when you are really only complaining passively.
So let’s see how to stop complaining by learning 3 simple but powerful questions.
How to stop complaining using 3 powerful questions
When you start researching how to stop complaining, what you really want is an efficient strategy that brings you maximum satisfaction.
We achieve this with 3 questions you can use whenever you realize you are starting to complain.
Before you ask the questions, you need to understand what you really want.
Do you want to take action to change the situation you would complain about? Or just prefer to talk to be understood?
These are two distinct needs. When you want action, you’re in troubleshooting mode. When you want to be heard, you are in understanding mode.
Each of these modes represents needs that are the core of our first question.
1. What are the needs behind my complaint?
What are the real needs that lie behind your complaint? What do you really want to achieve by complaining?
Maybe you want to feel understood. Perhaps an important personal value of yours has not been respected. Maybe you want changes.
Think about your real needs and write down the answer to the first question. Find out what is the purpose behind complaining.
When you have the answer, move on to the second question.
2. What other strategies are available?
Apart from complaining, what other strategies are available to you to address the situation you would complain about? What other things can be done to meet the needs you identified in the first question?
Here you can brainstorm other possibilities for action. Any idea that pops into your mind is valid.
When a problem arises, complaining is just one of the options. And probably one of the least efficient to meet the needs you have identified.
Here is the time to use creativity , intelligence and audacity to think about other action options.
Who doesn’t know how to stop complaining never does that. This type of person does not take a moment to imagine other courses of action.
Before moving on to the third question, when your idea list is ready, review all the options and choose the one that seems most effective for you.
3. What price will I pay to implement the chosen strategy?
Every action has a cost. Not just financial, but in a broader sense. A cost of effort, risk, time.
One of the reasons why people don’t know how to stop complaining is because the complaint has virtually no cost.
Anyone can complain. This is why it is a low risk and addictive habit. Many people even go looking for themes to complain about.
When you become aware of what your real needs are and find the best way to meet those needs, you can take the next step and see if you are willing to pay the price.
The moment you choose to face the risks of failure is the moment you decide to stop complaining and take action to solve the problem.
What would happen to your life if you stopped complaining?
We are nearing the end of this article and now I would like you to imagine for a moment what your life would be like if you knew how to stop complaining.
What would happen if you just stopped complaining and began to work diligently to solve the problems you encounter, to achieve your great life goals.
There are many ways to talk openly about situations that don’t suit you. Without whining. Without judging. Without offending. Without accusing. Without complaining.
It is possible to have constructive conversations and achieve greater understanding and connection with others. This is a choice of proactive people, people who take responsibility for doing something instead of just complaining.
Ultimately, when you are complaining you are basically refusing to accept reality. He is putting on a reactive mask of life from someone unable to take charge of his own life.
You may think that you have no ability to change the reality you complain about. Even in these situations, no one can take away from you your ability to change the way you react to external events.
If it is impossible for you at the moment to change your job, your rulers, your place of residence or any other external element, you can change your response to all of that. You can always change your perspective, the way you look at your current condition.
Only this change in thinking is more efficient and more satisfying than complaining.
Conclusion: How to stop complaining
In today’s article, we saw that complaint is an extremely ineffective strategy for solving the problems of your life.
In addition, it is a waste of time and can make us someone whose company is not appreciated by others.
We also saw that the only thing you can gain from complaining is attention and a false sense of relief that you are doing something to solve a situation. When in fact you are not doing anything.
To break this cycle and learn how to stop complaining, use the 3 powerful questions you learned:
- What are the needs behind my complaint?
- What are the other strategies available?
- What price will I pay to implement the chosen strategy?
You may have seen people who take a much more radical stand against the complaint. Some even say that you should isolate yourself from the complainants. That complaint is a contagious disease.
Avoiding this extreme position, we made an effort to understand that the complaint is a warning sign. A sign that there are needs that are not being met.
By meeting such needs, you become better able to identify the best course of action to achieve more happiness and fulfillment.
By stopping complaining, your goal is not to suppress your needs or pretend unpleasant situations do not exist. Nor is it to settle for little.
With the strategies you have learned here, you can do much better than that. If you need any help, just leave a comment below to follow the conversation.